Fear is an interesting thing. We need it because it's what stops us from walking out in front of cars, walking over the edge of cliffs, crashing into each other on the road. But when I break my fears down, they are based on so much more than the fact that I might hurt myself. My biggest fear is that of the unknown.

How insane is that? Because I can't know everything. I don't have a crystal ball. Nor would I want one. How boring would life be if you knew what was going to happen everyday before it happened? And yet here I am, trying to predict the future so that I know what to do next. 

I crunched some numbers the other day. If we were to find money for the land from another source that wasn't raised by events we'd still be looking at 200k for the facilities. If you break that down over two years, that's 8k a month we need to raise in order to achieve our goals. I don't know how to do that - yet. And does that scare me? Hell yes! Mainly because I can't bear the thought of not running camps for two years!  So may be we should extend the time to three years or four years, we could generate 2k a month if we do enough.

But that seems such a long time!!! Four years without camps??

The thing about time guys, is it passes anyway and if I'd have know five years ago that we'd be in this position instead of 5 months ago, I could have been putting things in place back then. That five years came and went and we all enjoyed what we had in the moment without ever really expecting it to end. There is a great book called Who Moved My Cheese by Dr Spencer Johnson. It's about two mice, one who expects his cheese to just keep coming and the other who realises it's running out. Well worth a read if you want to figure out how to deal with changes in your life. I think I should have read it again five years ago because clearly I'd forgotten some of it's lessons! 

The way I actually see things happening is that a few of us get together, we hold some fab events, we have some fun together and the momentum grows. We set a target of say £4k for each month at first and miss it by a mile until one day we hit it! Then we make it higher, raise it to 6k and again we hit it because now we know it's working. Think of the Blue Peter challenges where they used to have the thermometer like measure of what target they'd smashed this week! 

Can you imagine being part of something that achieves so much? Can you see what you would learn to do? How your believe in yourself would grow and change if you came along for the ride? Imagine being responsible for running an event that raised £918! Well Natalie Tindall can tell us, because she did just that!  Imagine creating a reel or an Instagram post that went viral and you were the one who made it? You see when someone knows how to do something it takes them five minutes when they don't it takes hours. 

It also takes courage. 

Nat had run an event like that before so she had some experience. I have never run events as simple as a Quiz night or a Bingo evening. I've created a total of one reel and Instagram baffles me. So now we go back to the fear...

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Because I have never run these things, I can't possibly have any fear about them because I don't know what will happen and my mind when it's scared, which isn't often I confess, goes into negative over thinking mode. If I let my mind wander, it goes into the world of 'What if!' But I know how damaging that can be. What if I'd never run my first camp?? Arrrggghhh! Nooooo! 

Over the years, I have trained myself to control my thoughts and feelings. To control my mind and the words that I use when I'm talking to myself. I'm not so great when it comes to talking to other people, my mouth speak before my brain has had chance to catch the words! And the what if become -What if this event is amazing. What if it's the first of hundreds? What if someone makes a new friend for life at a Bingo night or wins a prize that makes them really happy? What if the event is so good, that people can't wait for the next one? And if it's not, we'll make it that way!

Fear is baby steps, doing small events and then getting bigger. Think of it as jumping that first 50cm fence, you do it on repeat for a couple of days then you get a bit bored and you want to go higher. Soon 60cm becomes easy, then 70cm and each time you smash one goal, you celebrate like crazy then you move on to the next goal. 

Everything starts with an idea, then the foundations of the idea have to be built. Eventually the fabric of the idea takes shape and suddenly you are standing in your own idea of paradise that once seems like the most scary, crazy, overly ambitious thing to do ever!

Imagine standing in a beautiful stable block, horses all munching away happily, surrounded by lots of campers all excited for the next few days of bonding with their horses with like minded people - knowing that your efforts made that happen. 

Can you see yourself riding on an amazing school surface and popping brand new show jumps? Thinking, we made this happen! And all you did was something you already love doing for an event or two raised that raised the money for these shiny newly fenced sand schools!
 
I know I can do this, even though I don't know how quite yet. But I knew I could make my livery yards happen, I knew I could rescue all of the horses I have, I knew I could create and run my riding school and I know I could make camps happen. These were my baby step on my journey to creating The Camp Space. I have no fear about whether we can or not. I have no fear about putting on events that I've never done before. But I am terrified of not being able to run camps because they make life so much better for so many people and I don't want us to lose them.

Sometimes to get over fear you have to look at the big picture to make the little things seem less scary. So lets start small and build momentum. Let's see if we can reach crazy targets and crazy heights. 

And for now, can I ask you to take the smallest baby step ever?

Can you share this blog please? We need to create a huge community and if shares leads somewhere, we will get there. 


To send financial support got to https://gofund.me/e7c009e0
To buy merchandise go to cardoniantees.co.uk
To offer support with an event, social media or web building message [email protected] 

I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to technology, I get easily frustrated and seem to apply my usual stubborn streak of refusing to follow rules, even if they’re meant to help me! And as a result, the new website to support our Camp Space has been an utter failure! Can anyone help? It needs to look better, show up on Google, have better descriptions, and maybe even better products. I have enrolled on a digital marketing course for 9 weeks with Digital Penisular Network, a free online but live course, every Tuesday. There are still spaces if anyone wants to join me. But please know I’m trying! (some say very, but that’s a different story)

But, I have concluded that there is so much to do to bring this project to life, that there is absolutely no way I can do it on my own and therefore the theme of this year is growth and development, not just of this Camp Space, but also personal growth. Asking for help is one of those things I find very hard to do but something I have had to learn to do over and over again this year. And boy have you guys come through! I am so very grateful and feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people.

I feel we need to make some reels and possibly a YouTube channel, I definitely need an Instagram page too. We also need to create a campaign that Pirate FM, Radio Cornwall, The Western Morning News, etc would all be interested in because, at some point early this year, we are going to run a Crowd Funding Campaign. Other than creating an amazing camp space for everyone to use, what would be the benefits of you helping out?

Truthfully, I don’t know, because I’d like it to be of mutual benefit, and until you’re on board, I don’t know what you need. I have great planning and organisational skills, I know a lot of horsey people and a lot of stuff about horses. Without a doubt you would learn how to build a new venture from scratch at no cost other than your time, something I’ve done countless times and you’d be involved in fundraising events (aka great nights out!) and media campaigns that would give you contacts for the future too.

Some of the fundraising events we’re having will be held at the Meadery in Penzance which is owned by the lovely Emily Smith, fellow horse owner and camp supporter! Although nothing is set in stone, we’ve got quiz nights, race nights, talks, Bingo and Beetle Drives planned and I’m hoping to do a 60’s Themed night and an 80’s night too, so you will gain experience in event organisation too which is a highly paid skill and can lead to all kinds of trips and adventures.

At the heart of it though your passion will most likely be that you want the camps to continue, that you want a space that The Riding Clubs, The Pony Clubs, and Equestrian Camps can share. Pony club camp is the highlight of many a horsey child’s summer and creates memories that shape their life. Our camps have brought so many like-minded people together, created lifelong friendships, and proved that the horse world does not have to be a toxic environment. We are all on the same journey, we’re just at different stages of it.

I’m also planning on having two open days this year entitled A Celebration of Horsemanship where we have demos and displays from top dressage rider, Jane Lavington, there will be introductions to different training methods, a shetland derby for fun, various talks by different companies who will have stalls there so that you can get great hands-on advice. We haven’t decided on a venue yet, but I’m working on that.

Does anyone have any other ideas? What would you guys like to see? How can we be of service to you all on this quest, what will help you to support us?

This year my goals are bigger and scarier than they’ve ever been before. I have set the bar high! It’s not unusual for me to run several businesses at once, but I’ve never had to start up so many in such a short space of time and run a campaign for a new venue for Camps! I confess the thought of living in my van when it’s been raining the way it has is less appealing but I am also excited about that.

Honestly though, without your support guys, this year could fall flat on its face.

​The tiniest contribution whether it be time, money, contacts, video editing, Instagram posting, or even being interviewed for the YouTube channel, will all make a difference. And I guess if no one wants to help out then the need for the Camp Space is null and void anyway, which is exactly why I wanted to raise the money this way…I’ll explain more about that in the next blog post.
If you can help, please Whatsapp me on 07761574793, and don’t forget to give me your name as it won’t show up!
For now, I wish you a Happy New Year, I hope that all of your dreams, wishes, and goals come true. Can’t wait to get together with you all in some capacity soon!

WTF just happened? And why am I happier than ever?It’s hard to say where everything started to make me think that changes were afoot, let’s face it, the world has been in a bit of turmoil since Covid, but actually, things worked out ok until 2022. August 2022 to be exact and nothing I can attribute to the pandemic. However, January 2023 found me writing a business plan, the first words of which were ‘I feel that within the next five years, we will be losing our current venue for camps…’ As it turned out, it was 5 months later when I received that news. They say that life begins at the end of your comfort zone, well I’ve been out of mine since May and life could not be better.
Now whilst devastated I was also dealing with an injury that I was, at the time, unaware it would change the course of my life. It’s funny how when you need to learn something or listen, things will come up to remind you again and again. Sometimes the messages are subtle and easy to ignore. Sometimes they hit you like a 600lb race horse crossing the finish line and leave you flat on the floor, dazed, confused and reeling.
The second half of 2022 was like that. I lost my mare. I had a major falling out with a good friend and a couple of minor ones too! I was betrayed by someone whom I trusted, whom I’d given a lot of time and energy to, which led to the destruction of one of my businesses. And then I hurt myself, (same leg that I was then to damage in May) getting off a horse. All of these messages were telling me to get out of the situation I was in.
You see I’d got a little complacent.
My life was perfect in so many ways and then at the beginning of ‘23 I decided I needed to increase my income because there was never any money left over to put towards the future. I can earn money, but I can also spend it too. With 10 horses, it’s not hard! I laid down a plan to double the amount of people I could be of service to and instead of everything getting better, I then had an accident whilst I was getting on one of my horses. Seven months on, my leg is still not working properly. All three of my businesses have collapsed and I have no income.
Yet I am happier than I have ever been.
You see, at the time I couldn’t see it, but now I know that I needed to recalibrate. I needed to STOP. All of my life, I’ve been on a treadmill. I’m a workaholic and just need to do more, work more, sleep less, keep running faster and faster towards the end goal! But being confined to my bed for eight weeks, unable to walk or drive, I realised that although I had achieved some pretty amazing things, I was getting nowhere. And as all my businesses failed I started to see how actually, for me to be able chase this big goal, to become the highest version of myself possible, old patterns had to be broken.
The truth was, it was impossible to increase the amount of people I could help whilst running camps from Chyverton, or helping people with their problem horses or sharing my horses with other people through the Riding Pool. Every business had a finite number because there were only so many people we could have on camp and only so many dates we could use. The place stood empty all winter and it drove me mad because I could see the potential of what we could do - but it wasn’t mine to do it with. And teaching one-to-one is great, until you can’t walk, never mind handle a problem horse! And the Riding Pool? Well, there are only so many horses I can keep for other people to share and when that business is destroyed, you’re left with horses that you know you will never part with but no income to keep them. Great lifestyle business but a million miles away from the life plan I started to formulate at the age of seven.
I’ve heard many people say that they don’t know what their purpose is or how to find it. I can help you with that, because I am a serial purpose finder. My overarching life’s purpose is to help others, horses & humans mainly and in that order. But it’s also to facilitate connection and learning.
Apparently, I have ADHD and dyslexia. Both of these things, if I chose to accept the labels, I consider to be superpowers. My mind is constantly problem-solving, coming up with ideas and making them happen. I have a lot of energy and an ability to juggle all kinds of things at once, focus for hours, learn quickly and find ways to achieve anything I want to. IF I apply it.
Somewhere, around year five of running camps, I forgot to apply it. Losing Bicton as a venue wasn’t great. During the pandemic I went into survival mode because we were just grateful to keep going. Developing the business was no longer a priority and I had Covid three times, which affected me quite badly every time.
But that was then and this is NOW! We might have no venue for 2024 - yet! But rest assured I have been working hard behind the scenes, formulating a plan, working on myself to make sure that I have all of the right tools and attitude in place, building my mind set to be stronger than ever! And I am excited for the future! So excited!
I’ve not felt this good in years and folks, I’m taking you all with me. We’re going to build this Camp Space for us all to share and in the next blog, I’m going to tell you how…

Hey folks, thank you for being here! Chances are that you ended up here by accident because I have zero idea what I’m doing, but that is entirely the point. I have watched a lot of Mark Tilbury videos and seen others being able to make online sales work, but these guys are always ranking high because they’ve already become successful. And if I’m honest, I watch their ‘I can sell you a course on how to do this’ video, and I’m a little disheartened. I want to know where it all started! It’s amazing that they’re now rolling in it, but what it doesn’t tell me is how it got off the ground, how easy it was, how long it took! I then feel like I’m a bit of a failure, inadequate, too old, too fat- you name it, I’ll find an excuse. ]
But thanks to various podcasts I listen to, I know this is totally possible so I am going to journey, and give you the raw, uncut, highs and lows of building an online business from scratch to raise money for a Community Interest Company and as a private business to build an income. If I succeed, then so should everyone else, because every time I walk through the door of an educational institution, they give me another label! Dyslexia, ADHD, and Bi-Polar all undiagnosed officially but these experts were convinced, and initial tests may have given the game away too. But I’ve made it this far - I’m pretty ancient, I was born in ‘69 - with all of these superpowers and I’ve used everyone to my advantage! If I can, you can. No matter what your status because what I’ve learned is that the only person standing in your way of doing anything you want to in life is yourself! Bummer eh? But true.
So join me on the rocky road to success, which actually starts with how freaking hard it has been to set this website up on a very old and slow laptop!

I wrote this blog post some time ago in 2018 and it was one of the things that prompted me to talk to you guys about your achievements, goals and recognising how far you’ve come.

I rode Molly for the first time in years today. I’ve owned her for five or six years and the first three we did a lot together. It consisted mainly of me celebrating the days she only reared twelve times on a ride, falling off her over jumps because she has a massive pop and a I couldn’t sit to it, lessons to teach me to jump her properly and culminating in some brilliant jumping practice at Porth Valley 😊 It was an amazing journey. But then she went lame and I had her shoes taken off, then I injured myself, then I got fat!
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She’s not had shoes on for at least two years now, the lameness has long since gone. She spent last year living with my lovely friend Sam and then came home. Being the sweet horse she is, it took her a while to settle in, the others bullied her relentlessly ☹ but she’s now got them all sussed out and having walked her out a few times, I felt that yesterday, she was ready to go out for a short hack.
After all that time, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would she have gone back to being the flighty, rearing, bucking, dancing horse she was? It turned out no. She was an angel. We had a few moments of I’m not sure, I don’t’ really want to go that way. But they resulted mainly in her stopping, me giving her gentle nudges with my feet, a loose rein and clear direction, then we’d be off again. Once up on a time she used to stop dead, go straight up in the air and come back down in the opposite direction!

But what surprised me most was how much I had changed. I had absolutely no fear for one. My position has changed thanks to Sooz Foster and Mark Fuller. My hand position has changed completely too and I no longer cross my right slightly over Molly’s neck. A flaw of mine that Michael Van Houben used to pick up on constantly. When I canter, I pull carrots, thanks to Anne-Marie Beverley Jones! Not that I’ll be cantering Molly for a while. But I’ve not forgotten any of their teachings and despite not having had a lesson for ages, I have tried to practice what these guys have taught me every time I ride. What I haven’t noticed is that my riding had actually changed and it wasn’t until I got on a horse that I remembered being on so well, that I realised.

People often ask me if you should have lessons off just one instructor or swap and change sometimes. Well at camp, I feel that sticking with one instructor is the best policy all round. Six or nine hours of lessons with the same person gives you a real opportunity to try some of the things that they’re asking you to do and then go on to practice them. From your horses’ point of view, the instructor has a measure of what that horse needs from you to bring out the potential in both of you. And it’s better for the horses to stay with a group that they have started to understand. They are still animals with instincts and will naturally be wary or curious of other horses that they’ve not met. But throughout life I think it is very important to work with different instructors because they will all give you something new to think about or try that you may have missed. Plus you’re never going to clone yourself to ride the way your instructor does, you are unique and need to become your own version of a great rider.

Getting back on Molly, I realised that I felt much more secure in the saddle (I still fall off and have been to the hospital physio today because of the latest one!) but I am no longer swinging my legs around or flopping around in the saddle like a sack of jelly. My elbows are bent – those who were taught to ride in the good old days will know that this was a thing, carrying your weight in your elbows to give you soft hands and consistent contact. I used to ride Molly by balancing on her mouth ☹ because she used to pull and I’d pull back. Ridiculous, but until someone videoed me riding her, I had no idea!
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I guess what I’m most fascinated by here, is that times move on, things change, but often our brains remember all of the rubbish stuff and doesn’t allow us to see the progression or recession of the present moment. How many times have you got on and thought, ‘Not going that way today, she might spook at that gap in the gateway.’ or ‘Not doing that ride, she might get sticky again on that track or chose to not cross that road and then we’ll be stuffed!’ ? I used to do that all the time! These days I live for the day and for the moment. I expect my horses to be amazing all the time, because they are! And just because they have done things in the past and we’ve failed to achieve the success we wanted to, I will not quit. Why? Because not every situation is the same. Even if my horses are amazing every day, I’m not and sometimes I make stupid decisions (like not tightening my girth and falling off when my horse spooks!) But if things go wrong and I quit, it is NEVER going to get better and that progression that I felt when I was riding Molly yesterday, would not have existed had I quit.

So from now on, I’m going to be kinder to myself because, in spite of everything that has happened in my colourful life, I have not quit on these horses. I have become self-aware and taken something from every instructor I’ve been taught by. I’ve tried my best to be better and for the first time in years, I realised that it has actually paid off.
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What has changed about your riding and your horses way of going? Check out your old videos and compare them to the latest ones. I’ve seen a couple of pics recently of how much horses have changed, but I would love to see the videos too!

On Friday evening, Michele put a post down on the camp buddies page to ask who else was eating Pizza and playing trival persuits to remind them of camp. Love it! Who else was?

I have to confess that I wasn’t – partly because I am back to being a vegan now but mostly because to be honest, I’d forgotten that it would have been camp that weekend. Not because I didn’t want it to happen or because I wasn’t thinking of any of you, just because I’d moved on.

Around the time that second lockdown was announced I had a conversation with Tracy who owns the lovely Prince, about how sad it was that we would have to cancel. A few of the things she said made me change my attitude. It would have been Tracy’s birthday whilst she was at camp. What a great place to be to celebrate! She had a lot to be sad about too but she wasn’t letting it spoil her day and by then end of the conversation she had me thinking about what else not doing camp would enable me to do instead. You see there is always a bright side to everything!

Sam asked me why was I always positive about things and since she did so I’ve thought about it a lot. Believe me, it’s a learnt behaviour because I never used to be! I used to listen to myself bringing conversations down, knowing I was doing it and hating it, but I didn’t really know how else to respond. I would look at the negatives in most things because I’m a problem solver and I like to be prepared (for the worst of course!) But then you know what, it got really, really boring. I found myself drawn to people who thought the same and we’d spend hours discussing our problems – this is common apparently! Think about it next time you’re sitting round the table with friends talking horse (it will happen guys, I’m sure of it!) How many times do you talk about how awesome your horse was? How many times do you tell everyone how brilliant he was over that ditch or river that you came across? Or is it all about he spooked at this leaf on the floor or that damn car that passed too close or how no matter how hard you try he won’t go past those pigs!? I’ve learnt something about this lately, it’s called trauma bonding and we do it all the time.

Trauma bonding gives us connection, the people we are having great conversations with about our troubles just get it. They’ve been there, they understand exactly where you’re coming from, they respond agreeably and it feels like there is a real chemistry between you. The energy flows, the determination to solve this problem dwindles and before you know it, you walk away from the conversation thinking, ‘Well it’s ok, they’ve got issues too, it’s not just me and none of us know how to solve it anyway! We’re all in the same boat, so it’s fine.’

There is a chance someone in the group has had a different experience but won’t say so because that makes them stand out. It might break the unity between those who are part of that discussion and instead of bonding, create disagreement, possibly conflict and maybe exclusion of the one who didn’t agree. How uncomfortable would you feel if you were the one breaking those bonds? You know that feeling, when you speak out and the conversation halts and everyone looks at you…oooh it’s sends shivers down your spine!

Now do you get why we don’t try to change the direction of the conversation so easily? Even if we don’t agree?
Conflict is feared for many reasons in my experience. When I was growing up it lead to shouting, doors slamming, someone leaving or someone getting hit, hurt or both. In later life I found myself attracted to people who dealt with conflict in the same way. I understood it, I knew the pattern and predictability equalled safety. I knew when to duck or run! What I didn’t know how to do was resolve conflict.  

Not until I learnt that you can’t talk your way out of an argument with a 600lb horse! I didn’t listen to those who told me to beat her until she showed me some ‘respect’ aka fear. I’d been scared all my life, I didn’t want her to feel like that too! Running away from her wasn’t going to help. She was glad to see the back of me! But I had to find a way to get my firey little thoroughbred to like me, to want to be with me and not to be scared of me. Equally so, I had to find all those things in me. She’d kicked me in the face and broken my jaw. The ultimate turning point of my relationship with horses I think. I had two choices, run like the wind, never look back and walk away from horses altogether or stand up and learn to resolve the conflict between us.  It was a long journey but we made it and my life would not have been what it is today had we not taken it.

I have no issues with conflict these days, sometimes I am maybe a little too honest and if I say the wrong thing in the wrong way I will be the first to apologise, I have no issues with admitting that I’m wrong either! But learning to resolve conflict in my life has helped me look at things in a way that perhaps others don’t. To me, I achieved the impossible – everything seems impossible until it’s done!- I’d got back on a horse that my father would have happily shot and no one but my friend Simon would touch! Not only that we went on to have some amazing times together. She taught me so much about myself, horses and people.

By now you might be wondering what conflict has got to do with positivity and trauma bonding. Well, I guess it’s hard sometimes to be the one who disagrees with people’s low opinions of themselves or their horses. It can be hard to stand up for yourself and what you believe. I find myself constantly challenging people, my last boss actually told me I was very challenging! But it’s easy to challenge the norm when you know that something good stands on the other side of it and I know, that if you guys believe in yourself and your abilities, there is some good stuff waiting on the other side of it! Unfortunately, and possibly especially at the moment, it is normal to join in with the negativity and forget that you have an amazing talent – the ability to resolve conflict with a 600lb animal. It’s easy to sit around and think that not going to camp is bad or it could be that, whilst sad, how cool was it to have a goal to work towards in winter? For me, it’s allowed me the time and space to develop the Find Your Way With Horses program that I know will help a lot of people resolve conflict within themselves. How can that be a bad thing? Better still we’re opening up the one to one programmes – how exciting is that?

I find myself frequently surrounded by people who expect the worst and I still go there myself sometimes, but then I remind myself that expecting the best brings excitement vs. misery, possibility rather than inevitability, I actively look for the good, for the advantages, for the resolve of issues. Everything happens to teach us something if we’re aware and awake enough to listen. I swear horses find us because they know we’ve lost our way and want to put us back on track. I’ve no doubt that most of you can think about 10 things that your horse has done that you’d really rather he hadn’t. Think about 10 things you would never have learnt about him or yourself if he hadn’t done them. Does your spouse/partner/teenager drive you mad? Think about 10 things you love about them. If you can’t even think about one, imagine how you would feel if you got that phone call. Now try again.

The interesting thing about positive people is that they’re pretty hard to find. Sometimes they’re hiding in plain sight and just need to be encouraged out of their protective shells. They think great things but are afraid that they’ll be called a nerd or worst still dismissed if they share those thoughts. In Australia they call it Tall Poppy Syndrome. You have to be brave to stand out like the tall poppy. It’s speaking out and making changes that makes you stand out.  You have to know that doing things differently isn’t always going to be well received. But you also have to believe in yourself and be strong in those beliefs. Soon people will join you and eventually you become a positive poppy, proud of the fact that you stand out and encourage others to do the same. You can give people someone to look up to, someone to believe in, someone who is prepared for the best. Let’s face it, no one ever followed anyone who made them feel bad as easily as they did someone who made them feel alive and capable! Remember that awesome instructor who knew nothing about you but made you feel amazing?

You can be the tall poppy among your friends. You can turn the conversation around without being controversial, just be honest. Tell them the conversation is negative and ask them to list ten good things instead. If you were there at a couple of the goal setting talks in summer, you will remember the change when the conversations flipped from what you couldn’t do to what you were going to do! The energy was so negatively charged at first, then suddenly it was raising the roof off the piggery!

​My horses make me feel this fluttery kind of joy inside me when I think about them, even after they’ve chucked me off. It bubbles up occasionally and makes me laugh out loud when I’m in Tesco – I haven’t been thrown out for being nuts yet but give it time… What they don’t know is just how nuts I’d be if I hadn’t found this resolve, thanks to my horses, that keeps me sane.
Go laugh out loud in Tesco. Make the guy in line behind you smile. Change someone else’s life by being happy. See what happens when you smile at your horses or you dogs. See what happens when you expect the best 😊 x
 

I’ve been thinking a lot about you guys during this second lock down. Wondering what you’re all up to, wondering if you’re using any of the things you’ve learnt at camp, if you’re spending time with people you met there or even just chatting online, supporting and encouraging each other. Some of your stories have stuck in my head like the confidence crisis that you were having Angela, or that you didn’t like hacking out on your own Beth. Knowing that camp went some way towards helping you through these obstacles makes me so happy. I’m sure most of us have experienced the joy of helping someone else out when they can, for me, it’s so rewarding, I actively seek ways to do it on a regular basis.

Why? Because other people have helped me though some very dark and difficult times and I want to pay it forward. If you can help someone why wouldn’t you?

A wonderful lady, in fact magical is a better word to describe her once gave me some advice. She said don’t give your power away to anyone else. I had no idea what she meant. But at the time I was very unhappy and I felt that someone else was responsible for my happiness and that he had taken that away. I wasn’t first in the queue when they were handing out the brains! I am a thinker and a problem solver, but I don’t do cryptic! So it took me a while and then one day I found this on the internet and I finally understood what this beautiful lady was trying to say to me.

 
So I did as I was told and I started taking back my power, making my own happiness and living again. He wasn’t responsible for my happiness, I was! And as hard as it was to make sense of it at the time, I had allowed him to take mine away. I had a choice, we all have a choice, every single minute of every day, as to how we respond to the events that unfold before us.

So this blog is to all of you who took back your power. Kelly, your fear was trying to take over until slowly but surely you got hold of that fear and you kicked right up the backside and told it where to go! Now you’re achieving your goal of doing a dressage test. Wow! Just wow!

Gina, well I’ve known you a while now and the change I’ve seen in you this year is massive, you now know you only need to be you and do things your way and that’s good enough.

Angela and Sam – what if you’d never got back on? Look at all the fun you had because you did! All the power is now back in your hands. So proud of you both!

Anxiety is much misunderstood these days and unfortunately, it’s like a weed. It you plant it, feed it regularly, sit back and watch it grow, suddenly it turns into Rapunzel’s forest! Not even your handsome prince of a pony can fight his way through to you. I have a couple who would happily eat their way through but not to come and rescue me from my tower of anxiety sadly, unless I had more food of course!

Now if you take that anxiety and say ok, I understand that you’d like to take over, but actually, this is my life and I’m in control, not you, then you start to see it shrink back. And in the distance you might notice there is a fence, you can’t see to the other side of it but you know that it is obscuring something that you want. And you want it badly! So you take some steps towards it, beating that anxiety weed back, refusing to let it take over. Occasionally it gets the better of you and you sit and watch it grow, maybe even flower, perhaps you water it some, but then the fence starts to loom again. You have to cut that weed back so that you can see the fence more clearly again and with greater determination you set off towards it.

What do you think lies behind that fence?

Sometimes, as you get closer to it, you actually become suspicious of what’s on the other side. What if there is nothing? What if I’ve tried to get there for all this time but nothing changes? And what I get to the other side of the fence and it’s amazing, but then OMG, I have no more excuses and I have to go and do what I have been telling everyone I’m going to do for months?

You toy with idea for a while, but then desire takes over again and you’re out tackling those weeds again. May be an encouraging word from a friend helped or some bossy big mouth who runs these mad camps calls you out on the rubbish you tell yourself? Or maybe you just decided that enough is enough and suddenly you find yourself there, on the other side.

How did it feel?

The moment you got back from that first solo ride? Did you feel the freedom of being able to ride whenever you want to? Did that hit you? The sense of achievement? Maybe there was a realisation that this was all way worse in your head than the reality? But how good does it feel to know that you can kick that weedy anxiety into touch and tell it that YOU are in control of your future, of your happiness of everything you want to achieve in life?

You see you can create your own reality, you can decide how you’re going to live your life. Don’t believe me? Who made you go to camp? Who made you go on that first solo ride? Who made you get on your horse when you were adamant that you weren’t going to because some crazy lady had swapped the instructors around, Sam?

It wasn’t your best mate. Unless she had a hoist and a bit of rope up her sleeve to attach you to it. It wasn’t your horse who tacked himself up and said, ‘Right, we’re off down the road on our own, ok?’ It wasn’t your friend who convinced you to give it a go, unless she kidnapped you, bundled you and your horse in to her trailer and drove you to camp at gunpoint!!

It was YOU!

You beat back those weeds, you met that fence head on and you jumped!

And look what you found on the otherside…

Don’t let anything take your power away from you lovely people. You’ve so totally got this inside of you. You love your horses. Being a horse rider is part of who you are, part of your identity. Own it and be proud. This is your life, you get to choose. If you don’t, someone else will.

​I don’t see any hoists or revolvers around here so I think we can safely say that you’re free to go and create the reality that you want.
If you’re not sure how to make that happen, let me know and I’ll share some stories that might help you. But only if you ask. I’m not going to expose all of my secrets otherwise, I’ll just stay on the weedy side of the fence waiting for a leg up!

Now those of you who have been really paying attention will have noticed in the last blog the slight change in the title…did you notice? I choose to do that because the differences in agenda can be quite subtle from one person to the next. And now I want this blog post to be all about yours.

When I went to my first camp, organised by a riding club, I was asked to go along by a friend and have to confess, I had to push myself to go. I was running my riding school at the time and taking a whole weekend out seemed like madness. But to say that one camp changed my life is an understatement. Not only my life at that time, but my future. But at the time, all I wanted to do was go and have some fun with one of my horses!

But why do you guys come to camp? What’s your agenda? All of us have different dreams, goals and desires and our horses shape many of them. But I am guessing…in fact I know…that many of you come just because you want to have a holiday and spend some time with friends. But I think secretly, (at least until I set up on you with a goal setting talk!) we have something more that we want to get from camp.

For me I wanted to escape from the pressure of day to day life. I wanted to remember what it was like to just have one horse to focus on, because all of mine back home needed and deserved my attention all the time and I did my best to give it to them. But you can’t beat one to one time with a horse.

I have had people come to camp and spend their entire weekend in the stable or grazing their horse in hand, even sleeping with their horse just because they needed the therapy that horses give you. Would I be right in saying that when you’re with your horse, riding, grooming, grazing, just hanging out – something about your world changes? Do you start to forget the rubbish things in life that get you down – like the state of the house, your idiot boss, how you’re going to pay the rent? This year so many people said that by the end of camp, they’d almost forgotten the devastating effects that Covid-19 was having on the world. But isn’t that what horses do for you if you let them?

And whilst at camp, what do we give them? Perhaps something that we just don’t have normally…our time. Life takes over when you’re at home. It might seem a bit selfish if you spend 4 hours hanging out with your horse in the evening when you’re kids are waiting to be tucked into bed at night! But at camp, you have those 4 hours in fact you have a whole 48 hours or more! And for those of us not lucky enough to live with our horses, how cool is it to go muck out in your onesie? Kelly? Jenna? Hahaha. These ladies have special camp onesies! I love it! We may even have a photo to prove it…

For me the very best time of night is just before lights out. I get to go and check on your horses, give them all reassuring scratches and to just breathe with them. I get to see who they’ve made friends with, how settled they are and watch them do cute things like pass hay to their neighbour or nick hay from someone else’s! But I also get to see you guys relishing in that time to just look at your horses, watch them, kiss and scratch them. I see you lost in your own thoughts with gorgeous smiles on your faces, just appreciating them. Isn’t that time so special? And I don’t know about you guys but the bond I have with which ever horse I bring ( I still have 8! ) grows so much in just that short time. Let’s face it, if life didn’t get in the way so much, wouldn’t we all just spend every minute with our equines?

Maybe you come to camp to learn about your horse and what he can do, six or nine hours of lessons is quite intense and I think wonderful for progression. But how many of you come expecting to see a change in your horse and go home seeing a massive change in yourselves? I see so many of you grow in so many ways. I see people relax and really let go of life’s stresses. Confidence starts to ooze from pores that were frozen solid with fear! Friendships – now this one really gets to me – form and develop that I just know are going to last for a long, long time. It’s happened to me. Some of my closest friends I met at camp! And the truth is, I’ve been scared of people for a lot of my life so friendships have been hard for me, real friendships I mean, like those I have in my life now. And all of them are with people who have a passion for horses.

I also seen massive shifts in attitudes. People are so good at criticising themselves. They beat themselves up, they worry about everything and I swear they have forgotten that they can actually control a 600lb animal – that alone makes them awesome! But many people come with low self-esteem,  subtle though it may be. I’ve been studying human and horse psychology for years, I kind of have an eye for this now and I think once you’ve been there yourself, you recognise it in others very easily. So to see this gradual transformation in such a short space of time, means so much to me. The encouragement everyone gets, the support when it goes pear shaped, the fun, the laughter and the letting go of all of that negativity is palpable! Like a cloak lifted from the back of someone who has been shrouded by it for so long it’s made them stoop. But now they’re standing tall and proud, knowing that they’ve got this, they can do it, they are good enough for their horse. They know that baby steps accumulate and they can achieve.

I think the point I’m trying to make in my long winded waffling, is that everyone comes to camp with their own agenda, and that is exactly as it should be. It’s about you. You and your horse, you best friend that you just don’t get to spend enough time with.
So what’s your agenda? Are we helping you to achieve it? Can we do more to help? Do we hit the target you set us? I’d really like to know because you guys mean a lot to me and I want to be of service to you in the best way that I can be x

​P.s. Maybe next time I’ll tell you a tale about how you guys have helped me to realise something that I never thought I would x

Lunchtime of the first full day is a combination of deli meats, cheese, tuna mayo, egg mayo and interesting salads. One that went down really well this year was the carrot and orange salad with its yummy home-made dressing on it. We used to make the sandwiches for everyone but then realised that actually you can’t fit that much on a sandwich and people don’t always want a load of bread before they’re going to ride again – cake, cookies and crisps are fine!- but bread is not that exciting is it?
I love lunch time. I get to chat to my instructors about how it’s all going, I get to listen to everyone talking about how their lessons have gone, how pleased (or not) they are with their horses, but mostly how relieved they are that their horses behaved so well, even when they didn’t expect them to!

I have intervened a time or two during the first sessions. I don’t want to see anyone hurt and staying safe around horses by reading them is something I’ve been doing for years. If I think you’re about to get on an exploding timebomb, I will come and help. And guys, what ever you need to do to calm your horses down in those first lessons is fine. They may need you to just walk them round the school in hand, or perhaps be lunged before the lessons start, without the distraction of the others, maybe they need to go and have a graze in hand first thing because they’re not used to being stabled. If you’re not sure, ask. If you need help, ask. I’d rather you were safe and myself and our instructors will do what we can to assist. No question is a silly one. But we can’t read minds and if you want to know something, have expectations, fears, doubts or worries, speak up. That way we can help in the moment, please don’t ever feel you’re alone at camp.

Second lesson usually goes a lot more smoothly, they start again at 1.30 or at 3.15 and by then the horses and riders are much more certain of where they are and what is going to happen. There is no set idea about which schools you will be in except for the first lesson, after that you decided what you are doing next session as a group. Please make yourself heard but also consider each other. And try to remember that 3 hours a day in a schooling/controlled environment is a lot of work for them. I know you want to get the most out of camp and it’s tempting to do everything all on the first day! But progressive training is long lasting, we’re not in to quick fix situations. And if someone is struggling in the first lesson, be patient and supportive. Better still learn from their experience. You never know when you might come across a similar problem. And let’s face, at some point we’ve been glad of the help we’ve been offered when we were having a few issues.

So your horses need to be fit, physically and mentally, but they will also get the opportunity to stop as a reward for their efforts when they get it right. If you just work and work them without stops in between, they don’t get the release which is the best way to let them know they’ve got it right! And don’t forget the praise, it’s as important as the task. Don’t just get to the other side of that jump and breath a sigh of relief then flop! Give him some recognition. Tell him he’s got it right so that he knows that’s what you want.  A scratch and a kind word can go a long way with a horse.

After we’ve all fed our horses together around 6.15, it’s dinner time! Usually ready for 7.00pm so that you have chance to get showered and changed. And there is always lasagne! Now I don’t know how this happened, but on our feedback form I have asked a few times what people would like to see on the menu it’s been made very clear to me that so long as there is lasagne, they don’t care! I’ve had a lot of practice in perfecting the recipe but what ever the reason, it goes down a treat. We usually have proper home-made cottage pie, or sausage casserole, maybe cauliflower and broccoli cheese and a veggie, vegan, gluten free option if required. I’m getting pretty good at those too apparently though I confess gluten free used to scare me. I’ve been scared of getting it wrong a lot over the last seven years. I just want you all to be well cared for and looked after so it’s important to me to get it right.

Then after dinner we have a talk or a demo of some sort or other and over the years they have varied a lot! From Clare Hocking teaching us about balance by kneeling – yes kneeling!- on a yoga ball and playing toss and catch! To the lovely Bea Hawkins giving us a talk on the digestive system for which she brought a beautiful life sized model in to show us just how big our horses guts are! We’ve had a Trystan Stock, my lovely farrier do a talk and a q&a session. Marvin Firth has been a few times to talk all things Chiropractorish and done some vet talks too. Su Nunn did us a lovely demonstration of how to ride and tack up side saddle this year, it was amazing, like stepping back in time. So you never know what you’re going to get!

Recently, because of covid-19, I’ve been giving some talks about goal setting and recognising your own abilities, being nice to yourself and celebrating your achievements. They seem to have had an impact so I might start doing more of these and maybe even replace quiz night because believe me, what ever you think, you are enough. For your horse, your partner, your kids, your boss – whatever. You are enough.

So Sunday pretty much follows Saturday except for the celebration we have after all of the lessons have finished around 5pm. We like to get everyone together to say a massive thank you to our instructors and photographers, but also to you guys. And it’s time to hand out a few rosettes to recognise those who have done something special during camp. Sometimes it might be that they looked after everyone else in their group, encouraged everyone loads and had a great time. Other times it might be that they’ve moved on massively in confidence or achieved way more than they expected to. There are no set rules about who gets recognised and actually, it’s really hard and my instructors hate me for it, because in truth, you will all have achieved something! Also we find that the camaraderie and love you guys have for each other is just awesome. It is what makes camps so special, it’s why I keep doing them. I truly am the luckiest person alive to get to do what I do for you all and I thank you all from the very bottom of my heart because without you, my life would not be the happy one it is and I would never have met such lovely people and horses x

P.s. Part 3 of What’s your agenda is going to be all about you…intriguing eh? I hope to see you there x

What the agenda?
Part 1
Just before camp, we get quite a few people asking for the itinerary. It’s usually people who are super organised and want to plan ahead or they are slightly apprehensive first timers – sometimes a combination of both! But I think it’s only natural when you go anywhere new to be asking ‘What on earth is going to happen to me when I get there?!’  
I often wonder if we should rename our itinerary and call it an agenda instead. But doesn’t that word go so much deeper than just a list of our plans? Do any of us have exactly the same agenda when it comes to going out and playing ponies somewhere?
Our itinerary in it’s simplest form is that you arrive of the first evening, set up camp for the next two or three days of lessons. But why do we do it this way I mean after all, I hate camping and I would much rather spend an extra day in my own bed than sleeping in a field! Well it’s because the advantages of getting you altogether on the first night more than make up for a sleepless night or two.
You see the first night is all about getting you guys talking, making connections with new people through your horses and breaking bread with others has long since been recognised as beneficiary to making connections (albeit garlic flavoured with a bit of pizza in our case!). It’s why we have networking breakfasts, do business over lunch or dinner. It does after all, make you stop for a minute, take time out of your busy lives and be still, therefore allowing time to get to know each other, share some stories and have fun.
To me it is also an indicator of how nervous or confident you might all be as a group. Sometimes the energy in the room on the first night is electric, lots of excited chatter, people discovering they know each other’s horses or have friends in common or have competed against each other but never had the opportunity to really talk. Other times it’s my job to get those conversations started because no one is eating anything as their nerves are getting the better of them. We used to have a hypnotherapist come and give us a talk to help us to get rid of a few anxieties, set some goals and just have fun. What was fascinating about that was how much calmer the horses in the stables became as their owners started to calm down too, even though there was quite a distance between the two buildings! There was rarely any food left after either because suddenly everyone was feeling much better and hungry.
This year has been a bit different because of the Covid 19 issues but normally we put everyone together in their riding groups to do the quiz. One of the things I am most insistent about is that absolutely no one feels left out at camp. I don’t care what you ride or how you ride, you’re as entitled to be there as anyone else and I don’t want anyone making judgements about each other based on their horsemanship skills or preferences. Save that for the show ring or facebook, better still don’t be that person! Over the years we’ve had a few people criticise others and I’ve stepped in. I want you guys to feel safe, to feel as though you can be who you really are with your horses and to get the most that you can out of camp. I don’t want you to be scared of asking a question you think might be silly or to be worrying about the fact that someone on your camp has a top class show jumper when you have a little cob off the moor, we’re all horse owners, we’re all on our own journey and that journey is different for everyone one of us. It’s about your agenda, no one else’s. I think a great saying is ‘What other people think is none of your business, it’s what you think that matters.’ I’ve no idea where I first heard that but it has stood me in good stead many a time when I have let the words of others push a few buttons.
As well as the quiz we’ve played a few games in the past and I intend to do that again in the future once we can get up close and personal again. My intention is to get you all laughing and chatting and believe me, some of the games we’ve played have made people giggle a lot! Especially the simulation ones where we have people sitting on each other’s knees and pretending to do rising trot! I’m not sure if it’s the jiggling that causes the giggling but it’s set a few people off in the past!
I do find that bringing people together in this way means that the fear of being judged by others disappears somewhat and as a result most people are a lot less worried about bringing their horse in to the arena for the first lesson because they’re no longer riding with strangers, they’re riding with friends! All that leaves you to worry about is riding your horse the way you always do – oh and maybe how scary your instructor is going to be! They’re not, I promise you!
Each day we encourage people to feed their horses at the same time. One of the highest stress factors for horses on livery yards is that people are coming and going at all kinds of times and feeding their horses or turning them out. Horses are clever and they know who is coming to feed them but we’ve built that in to them, it’s not their instinct. They move together in the wild, they eat together, they drink together, their base instinct doesn’t allow them to forget that when they are together they are a herd. Some get extremely stressed when their new next door neighbour goes out without them or has a feed and haynet when they don’t. Others seem to not bother at all. But to me if we are trying our best to reduce any anxieties that they may have, just simple things like feeding them together isn’t hard to do. After all, we have dragged them away from their usual environment, put them with a load of strangers, locked them in stables that they are unsure of and then gone to bed! I did have one group of horses that I had to leave the lights on for all night, if I turned them off a few of them seemed to join forces in screaming the place down and trying to kick the back wall out! Soon as the lights went back on…silence.
Both mornings whilst you’re at camp, we feed you a cooked breakfast to set you up for the day! We have cereals, toast and preserves for those who can’t handle that at 7.30 am but there’s plenty of choice. Riding times for the morning are at 9 am and 10.45 so some people get to have a lie in but on the other hand they have an early finish. If I get an inclination that some riders are nervous, I often put them in the first group so that they can get it over with and relax for the rest of the day! By lunchtime, around 12.30, everyone is fine, but I need strategies to make sure that you all are and over the last seven years I’ve learnt a few!
The first lesson can be interesting. Horses pick up on nerves, some more than others, riders all have different agendas and have come to camp for different reasons and try as I might, sometimes I can’t make the groups work perfectly every time! Six hours of lessons over two days is a long time for both horse and rider, even if they are fit it can be mentally exhausting so your first lesson is just an assessment really. There will be some standing together listening to the information that everyone is giving their instructor, this is a good way for the instructor to assess your horses temperament. It takes your mind of what your horse is doing for a moment and this often indicates how settled the horse is. If you’ve been holding him together whilst you’re out on the track, then him standing still whilst you talk is not going to be easy. I guess it’s about discovering which horses have more go than whoa and about understanding the other people in your group. You can learn so much from other people and what they’re being taught if you’re teachable. And when you hear an instructor use similar words to those they’ve said to you, then you can see what that other rider is doing. Also you realise it’s not just you that does that!
We always have tea, coffee, squashes and cake for you to help yourselves to so that you can refuel and of course the cake competition is vitally important! Recently it has become the dessert competition because some made the most delicious banoffee pie once and lots of people do gorgeous brownies and cookies, so the word cake became too restrictive! And of course it’s not about the competition, it’s about people bringing something nice to share, making a bit of effort to ensure that everyone else is having a good time too. You’ve no idea how much I appreciate the time put in to this little thing that makes a HUGE difference and I love receiving your gorgeous offerings in the piggery when you arrive, so exciting! So thank you xx
I think this might be long enough for now so I will write part 2 and post that separately so I don’t bore you to death – we have horses and lives for heaven sake, who has time to read my wafflings?! See you in part 2 x